Video-Clip-A-Thon: The Journey
The Challenge: To watch video clips for 24 hours straight. The Result: Part research, part cultural experimentation, part drug-fuelled hi-jinx.
9.08am: Of course it’s a fucking beautiful day outside but I’m here, not exactly fresh but nevertheless eager to face off with my TV for the next 24 hours. The clip first on is Electric Six’s excellent ‘High Voltage’. Joss Stone is now doing the black girl thing like no other white girl before her. I’ve got a shitload of speed, pot, vodka, an E and 23 hours and 50 minutes to go. This’ll be a piece of cake.
9.42am: Gunther and the Sunshine Girl’s ‘Ding Dong Song’ seems strangely out of place alongside the rest of Channel [V]’s Sunday morning offerings, like I’d accidentally stumbled onto a 1980’s German nightclub porno channel. I have the distinct feeling that guy still refers to his dick as his ‘tra la la’ – ‘Baby, I really do wanna pleasure you in 6,000 different ways, but I did so much coke off that bikini model’s tits my tra la la is refusing to play ball.’
10.14am. Previous suspicions that the Black Eyed Peas suck and Ferdie is a skanky hoe: Confirmed.
10.15am: Argh! Franz Ferdinand’s ‘Take Me Out’! Imagine if I was exercising or sleeping or reading instead of watching this clip? How much of a waste of my life would that be? Who’d be laughing then? This is beyond awesome. If only all clip directors could be ubercool art school kids, who wanna make video art instead of commercials. Busta Rhymes’s booty clip ‘Break Ya Neck’ that follows only highlights further how goddamn boring this genre is. These kinds of clips should be legal grounds for murder – cultural pollution and excessive use of life quality diminishing cliches and stereotypes.
10.28am: Happily, one of the Death Disco DJs played Britney’s ‘Toxic’ last night amidst atypically credible pop songs of New Order and 80s megamixes (I don’t care what anyone says, ‘Electric Dreams’ is a really good song). It was like a fuck you to cultural elitism – surely Britney Spears is the last bastion of what cool indie kids should be dancing to on a Saturday night? Irony and postmodernism have done wonders for what we can get away enjoying – it seems like nothing’s off limits any more. The clip isn’t much more than cheap sexual innuendo and costume changes – the total of Britney’s career really.
10.40am: Question: If The Corrs died in a forest, would anyone go to their funeral? No wait – would anyone care if I rode their corpses around like a sled?
11.00am: Must. Fight. Urge. To. Watch. Will and Grace. Two hours of gay jokes unfold without me. This is like knowing Jake Gyllenhaal and Keanu Reeves are making out in the next room but you’ve promised your flatmate you’ll watch Point Break with them instead.
11.10am: One of the shit sheets that surfaced on the web after Nick Snelling started as editor of Beat in Melbs (street press rag like Brag) paid him out for favorably reviewing Alien Ant Farm. Being an open minded kinda gal, I was willing to fight the urge to laugh my ass off at this cuz maybe, just maybe, Alien Ant Farm were a really good band and their novelty hit overshadowed some really interesting work. Nup. My first instincts were right. In the clip for ‘Glow’ the guitarist humps a washing machine and spanks a fridge. Someone’s been taking too many Moron Pills, and my guess is they are somehow associated with Alien Ant Farm.
11.17am: The Darkness’ ‘Love is Only A Feeling’ is the first clip I’ve seen for a second time today, gracing MTV with its falsetto glam rock cool. Could be worse.
There’s an Osbournes marathon starting at 2pm. Someone’s really trying to test me now.
12.06pm: Observations one could make from watching the current US Top Twenty.
Tits are still in.
Booty shaking is not only in, but mandatory.
There’s one simple way to make a clip, which involve the aforementioned, one party, an RnB\hip-hop-lite beat, plenty of hands in the air and lashings of gyrating. Combine all three, stirring frantically, then edit the shit out of it, without staying on any image for longer than half a second. That or have some chick whining about how her relationship with her man didn’t work out – cue moody singing to camera, furrowed brows, wavering notes, perfectly placed tears and maybe a mirror smashed if you’re Avril Lavigne and still have to create the pop bad girl image for tweens.
Clips distill the ideal attention span for a consumerist society. Remember that part in Orwell’s 1984 about Doublethink – the inability for citizens to remember any events that transpire, places that change etc. Like most of that book, it anticipated necessities for advanced capitalism, such as the need for the population to simply forget what happens and be easily manipulated via the media into believing previously opposing ideas. From Howard’s infamous ‘never ever’ on the GST to that fact that we can watch Hugh Grant and not think of him having his cock sucked by a transvestite hooker, information overload means we take on more, our minds work quicker and we have a lot more going on to process. I don’t know about you, but my memory’s shot to shit because of it. I’m constantly meeting people who know me and I have absolutely no idea where I met them. My friends are all used to having to retell me stuff that happened two, three, five years ago – and mostly it’s still gone. It’s kinda scary, really, cuz if we learnt one thing from Bladerunner it’s that memories make up who we are. If we don’t remember what’s happened to us and how we reacted in situations, then how do we learn from life experiences? Clips are an instant satisfaction of visual\music culture – an easily digestible flashflood of images that spoonfeed us an iconic and mostly unimaginative version of the artist in question. Something about this strikes as being anti-art, as having to digest and reflect on clips – their meaning – isn’t part of the genre. Of course, this is all documented by Marshall McLuhan 50 years ago when first talking about TV commercials. Goddamn that guy was smart. Really have to look up more of his stuff.
12.50: And the weird thing is, clips create a totally different experience for the viewer than the song. OK, Musicmax has a 100 Greatest Guitarists countdown thing going on right now (Silverchair at the mo), which is live footage of artists playing. Seeing this kind of clip – a more pure representation of the band playing their music – you’re freed from the narratives or editing which serve to make the song into a different experience for the viewer. Wait, this isn’t making sense… what I mean is music is an emotional experience right, that you get from listening to the song, or seeing the band play the songs live. Live shows and listening to the album in its entirety are more extensive journeys, whereas a clip doesn’t even really try to capture that feeling. Exceptions are one take clips I think, like ‘Yellow’ or Nash’s Eskimo Joe’ clip, because they allow space for reflection and meaning making. Where this idea falls down: music doesn’t have a definitive purpose. Hip-hop can just be about Having A Good Time while Radiohead wants to make you feel new depths of emotional resonance. So some clips are very true representations of the music – here we seem to be back to the flavour of the month, booty clips. Booty clips are to music videos what Naked News is to journalism. Just get laid already!!
1.06pm: PJ Harvey’s new clip is a perfect example of image overload, a rapid montage of speed-up images which make it very hard for the viewer to discern any meaning from the song cuz you’re working so hard to take in the speed-addled images (note: once I get stoned it’s unlikely I will use words like discern).
4 hours in. 20 to go. Lookin’ good, feelin’ fine.
1.17pm: Michel Gondry’s clip for Chemical Bros’ Star Guitar reminds me that yes of course, they are lots of great directors making cool video art for bands (and bands’ record company’s) who are willing to take risks. In this case, the experimentation of editing footage taken from a train window to electronica is hypnotically good. And honestly, for all my pontificating, I love the artform. Keep in mind that being spoon-fed a relatively shallow, visceral experience ain’t necessarily a bad thing in my books.
1.49pm: How can sex be used so much in clips?? I mean, I get that sure, sex is cool and we like it, but how can it be the one word that producers scrawl up on the whiteboard and be convinced that’s the thing that’ll shift more units? Are people really that dumb? Are we all just slaves to titillation?
2.07pm: MTV and Channel [V] have moved to afternoon programming and Musicmax is just crap so I’ve moved onto the Triple J Hottest 100 DVD from this year. Am I the only one who thinks that Jet’s drummer’s weird neckbeard redefines what ugly is? Get a razor dude and someone fire hair and make-up.
I still don’t know how Jet managed to get away with ripping off the Beatles Revolver art. It’s brutal.
2.22pm Remember how I said one take clips were better in some ways cuz there’s more room to make meaning? That may well be bullshit. See Something for Kate’s ‘De Ja Vu’.
Why do I love clips so much? I guess it’s a near perfect way of making songs I can see – I like music, but I love film. It’s clearly the superior artform as far as the degree of effectiveness in creating new, often better, realities. Right now I’m pretty sure that in this reality I’m not as good a dancer or as thin as the people in video clip land. Of course, my physical appearance may have something to do with the fact I do this kinda shit on weekends and I count brainstorming ideas for the paper as a workout. Like, a mental workout.
Katy Steele is totally hot.
2.50pm: Kat emerges from upstairs. Favourite clip: ‘Animal Nitrate’, Suede.
3.00pm Remember how I was going on about how clips aren’t accurate reflection of the songs because of their structure? OK I’m gonna renege again. I just watched Radiohead’s ‘There There’ and it made me think that clip is an accurate reflection of the uh, ‘emotional journey’ of the song – the rapid editing doesn’t always produce an oversaturated effect. Owen Trevor talked about how he thinks people are more ‘screen savvy’ these days, as opposed to attention spans getting shorter. I think this is true to a degree, (I didn’t before), as you only do need to show snippets of images to create meaning. Meaning is limited in clips, as the experience is mostly sensory, as there isn’t time to work up more than a tiny narrative. Forget characters and all the other things that generally define storytelling. So anyway, rapid editing can work in a slower song in building an emotional climax. Or something.
I think the best clips either creatively express the song through innovative use of video art (‘Take Me Out’), provide a cool extra level to the song through a narrative (‘There, There’ creates a story not part of the song, but engrossing and a great collaboration between film maker and band) or merely showcase the band in a live sense to capture some part of that experience (Mars Volta’s ‘Inertiactic ESP’ and even Outkast’s ‘Hey Ya’ if you take that a little metaphorically). Then there’s always the Just Fucking Cool Category, which incorporates everything Spike Jonze, Chris Cunningham or Michel Gondry have ever made. Think multiple realities, great concept based stuff… Overall, a great narrative clip wins out for me – a story to follow and reveal, no matter how small, means you have a reason to keep watching actively, as opposed to passively seeing images. A collaboration between a band\song and an artist. Stories fucking rock.
Goddamn Pete Murray is a boring fucker. Why the hell is he so popular?
3.19pm My flatmates are going to get me coffee and bread. I have absolutely no desire to leave the house, apart from the need to stretch my legs, which have started to ache a little. I guess at the end of this I’ll be enacting an Uma Thurman style rehabilitation program on myself. ‘Wiggle your big toe.’
3.55pm: Richy’s Favourite Clip: ‘Papua New Guinea’ by Future Sounds of London. My flatmate Richy emerges from upstairs and I tell him, joint in hand, that I think I’ve stumbled across a perfect reality. Essentially this represents some kind of ideal lifestyle, as it combines so many things I love. He wisely points out I have a long way to go and we count that as 17 hours. I think that’s great – that’s such a ridiculously long amount of time. That means this has been about 7 hours. This is the easy part.
The Butterfly Effect is on. I hate aggression music, in its many different forms. I can never imagine myself liking this music. The again, at one point I could never imagine ever getting married and now its part of one of my catchphrases. Go figure. Maybe I’ll turn super hardcore over the next five years. If I do, someone please kill me. I really can’t listen to numetal.
Time for a toilet break.
4.09pm: I saw The Chemical Bros’/Flaming Lips’ ‘The Golden Path’ and I gotta tell you, its making a fair bid for best clip so far. It’s very Gondry-esque [dir. Chris Milk] i.e. totally fucking excellent. Really beautiful look at multiple, opposing realities.
Its funny, this is actually an experiment on the effects of technology if nothing else. There’s the video clip stuff, but really I guess this is about continual exposure to a medium. And for the record, no I haven’t seen Supersize Me yet, but yes, I can see it has had some kinda effect.
OK animation stuff from Junior Senior.
I’m getting a headache. Time for good old fashioned Over The Counter Painkillers. Every celebrities (on the record) drug of choice.
4.53pm: My god that Chemical Bros clip is good. I just watched it again and actually got a little teary.
Belle and Sebastian is also unreal – ‘Step Into My Office’ – I’m looking forward to the tour.
5.30pm: Note to self: Never play The Waifs when having sex. Has uncanny ability to kill the romance.
5.35pm: Adam Jesson’s Favourite Clip: “It’s not favourite, but a very good clip is Eminem’s ‘Stan’. Either that or anything by Purplene.” Adam lives up the road from me. We used to work together at Pacific Publication when I was at Juice and my little publicized stint as a freelance subeditor for Total Girl.
5.50pm: I’m actually really sick – stupid cough and slight cold. Wait, the word slight takes away from the idea of being ‘really’ sick. Change that to ‘ridiculously awful’ cold.
7.09pm: Realized it’s hard to type when someone is over. Having to use my vocal chords to create conversation, I’ve realized the extent of my illness. But, as I explained to Adam, who cares about being a bit sick when you’re younger? You suffer a few consequences and get a bit sick every now and again – whatever. So I’m not letting it bother me, and I continue to consume Soothers and Butter Menthols (bought by Adam, as I am of course, housebound) all should be good.
Am rewatching the Triple J Hottest 100 2002 – not a bad compilation, but the songs were chosen for being good songs, not being good clips (in the overall poll at least) but there’s not a lot that really captivate: I like The Vines’ ‘Get Free’ because you get to see Crazy Craig, Rocket Science’s ‘Being Followed’ is not bad, of course NERD’s ‘Rock Star’ is as cool\cheesy as the song – cheerleaders seem to make every song better huh? And let’s face it – Pharrel is fucking hot. Weezer cannot do a single thing wrong, ever, and of course the genre-defining genius of Karma. That is beyond incredible.
7.20pm: Trying to work out if The Drugs’ Bold and the Beautiful is ridiculously awesome or awesomely ridiculous. Maybe the former just because they rhyme words like ‘unsuitable’ with ‘beautiful’.
Adam reminded my eyes will feel like they’ve got dirt in them by the end of the 24 hrs. Come to think of it, they are feeling a bit sore…
7.30pm: Was momentarily worried my muscles would have faded away by tomorrow but am heartened by the idea I have spent other entire Sundays on the couch, just with more sleep.
Richy returned momentarily to pick up a poker set – he commented that I still looked ‘focused’, which was a good thing.
7.48pm: Ah, back to trash. Managed to jam the DVD while trying to work out how the fuck to fastforward through clips and thought I’d swing back by cable and see what’s doing. Australian Top 30, Jessica Simpson redefining the phrase ‘dumb blond’. And now Beyonce. Excellent.
I swear to God, the clip for ‘Naughty Girl’ completely and absolutely justifies capitalism. Sure its bad cuz of poverty and its built on consumerism, but it means I get to watch clips like this! How freakishly cool is Beyonce? That red jacket – man, there’s the cure for cancer right there.
8.04pm: Not even a semi-decent storyline can save a shit song. Point in case, the much overplayed ‘The Reason’. Eamon and the right of reply song are also shitting me intensely. Thank God for OutKast – I’ve seen ‘Roses’ quite a few times already, but it’s such a cool slip… reminds me of Grease. “Caroline… She’s mighty fine…”
8.30pm: Am fighting a powerful wave of boredom with coffee and food. Am waiting for impending guests before smoking pot. Back onto Triple J as all three cable stations have painfully good programming – Kung Faux on Channel [V] is absolutely brilliant. And Dismissed is right up there in the New Weekly category of dumb US shows which are super addictive.
8.36pm: The quality of Australian clips is so noticeably better when held up to normal (i.e. US) programming. Maybe that’s to do with the absence of booty clips, maybe that’s to do with the talent over here. But seriously, we kill it. Beautiful art direction and cinematography too.
8.58pm: Recognize the lead singer in Waikiki as a one of the girls at Death last night – makes sense, she’s Ari (one half of the Out Of Town column) Stein’s sister, who was playing last night. She seemed a bit distant-slash-snobby-slash-wasted, but subjectivity is a tricky game to play. Maybe I just thought that cuz she’s super hot.
9.01pm Half way. 12 hours to go.
9.22pm: You know, I think today actually has gone quickly. It’s 9.22pm now and that’s well and truly evening and it really didn’t seem that long. I’m pretty sure that has to do with clips affecting your sense of time.
9.40am Jess Scully: Favourite clips: “Bjork videos. ‘Bacherolette’ is just insane and beautiful. ‘Human Behaviour’. Madonna’s ‘Human Nature’. Ah-ha’s ‘Take On Me’. ‘Boys Don’t Cry’. Prodigy’s ‘Smack My Bitch’ The Christopher Walkman one that Spike Jonze did. ‘Crazy in Love’ by Beyonce.
Junior Senior’s ‘Move Your Feet’. I’m pretty sure Jess could keep listing clips throughout the entirety of Video-Clip-A-Thon.
Sarah Oakes: Weezer’s ‘Island in the Sun’ or ‘Buddy Holly’.
10.00pm: Peter Polites: Favourite Clip: ‘Just’ Radiohead.
10.03pm Dirty Dancing’s ‘She’s like the Wind’ is namechecked as a good clip. That’s the one that Patrick Swayze sings in.
10.22pm. Eminem special on MTV – perfect.
There is a distinct possibility my pot will run out before my time.
Peter bought me over cough medicine and (after hassling him for 20 minutes) has bought me orange juice to make a vodka, orange and cough medicine cocktail. There is a chance the alcohol will cancel out the effects of the medicine. I’m willing to take that chance.
10.29pm D12’s ‘My Band’ is on again – I’ve seen this clip several times today and I’m not sick of it yet. Richy agrees, “It’s very good.”
11.01pm Ellis Glass’ Favourite Clip “Anything by The Darkness. I’m gonna marry Justin Hawkins.”
Michel Gondry’s ‘Seven Nation Army’ is a perfect example of the hypnotic power of film. Like a magic trick book takes the viewer through a seamless transition of objects – so so cool.
11.25pm: Time for Justin Timberlake.
Me: “So Peter, what are you looking for in this DVD?”
Peter: “Is this really signed by JT?”
Me: “It is if you believe it is.”
11.35pm: Eminem or JT? The debate. We decide JT.
11.53pm Peter offers to clean up the now overflowing coffee table – junk food, various bowls of food, pot, ash, empty glasses, water bottles, DVDs, remote controls.
Me: “You’re such a good gay boyfriend.”
Peter: “And you’re a very needy friend.”
Peter told me he’s glad I’m doing video-clip-a-thon. “You’re the only person who could do. Other people would have more mental clarity before embarking on this journey, but not you. That’s what I like about it.”
He leaves to get Turkish bread.
12.01am: Just saw Grandaddy’s ‘El Caminos in the West’. Brilliant. I love Grandaddy – another can’t put a foot wrong band.
12.06am Nick Salzberg: Favourite Clips: ‘Pop that Coochie’ 2live crew; ‘Opposites Attract’ Paula Abdul; ‘Borderline’, Madonna; ‘Army Dreamers’, Kate Bush; ‘Come To Daddy’ Aphex Twin; ‘Paper Bag’ Roni Size; ‘Nothing Compares To You’ Sinead O Connor; Take That feat. Lulu, ‘Relight My Fire’ – “Only cuz they looked so goddamn hot in those videos’.
Nick had to repeat that last song title several times to me. I think attention span is getting fucked around.
“That’s probably the drugs,” Peter reminds me.
12.23am: Roozi calls, he’s bringing over more Kylie. Me, Nick and Peter smoke another joint.
Nick and Peter discuss Madonna’s career and disagree over American Life – Peter, for, Nick, against.
12.30am: Nick just broke the first rule of video-clip-a-thon – taking a photo not on the hour. I feel like the world of Video-Clip-A-Thon has few rules but all are essential. My world has reduced to several imperatives, and one is taking photos on the hour – 24 roll film, 24 hours. Perfect. We had another drama a few hours earlier when we lost the clicker for 5 minutes. I really freaked out.
12.35am: Air, another band that can’t put a foot wrong.
Just saw Antipop Consortium’s… ‘Glass House’? Fuck, I read that title and knew I’d forget it. Like I read it, several times knowing that if I didn’t type it down straight away I’d forget it. I did. The overlaod of images had definitely had some weird effect on my ability to retain information or something. I can almost count the brain cells dying.
Peter: “You know when I read this I’m only gonna read my sections”
Me: “I wouldn’t worry about that Peter. I’ll edit you out by then.”
Nick mistakes Gomez’s “Catch Me Up’ for an insurance commercial. He’s only been here 43 minutes. He’ll snap like a twig.
12.45am Roozi Araghi’s Favourite Clips: “It’s all about Madonna for starters. She was probably the first real star of video clips. She was the first MTV star. You can only fully buy into the artist through video clips and that’s one of Madonna’s strength. Probably David Fincher’s ‘Oh Father’”.
The boys continue to discuss Madonna – it’s nice having a night in with the girls.
Roozi continues to namecheck: Ah ha’s ‘Take On Me’. Peter Gabriel’s ‘Sledgehammer’.
1.00am” Roozi bought over sherbet and convinced us to snort it and get a sugar rush. We put on Madonna’s Immaculate Collection and do lines of sugar. Nick continues to freak out about how good Madonna is, does a line and recites slabs of Death Becomes Her, a film he became obsessed with a while back. Estimated times he’s seen that film: 50.
2.00am: Time for another joint – we’re rationing pot now and when I say we I mean I as Nick is hassling constantly for more. Madonna was great, of course… Somehow, discussion still persists about the first lady of pop. When fags unite…
2.48am: Me and Nick do lines of speed cut with sherbet. I would recommend this – cuts down the disgusting speed aftertaste. We’re on late period Madonna now – think failed attempts at canto-pop and bad electronica. DYK; Madonna’s ‘Human Nature’ is about her infamous appearance on Letterman, where she swore continuously*. The pop culture dissection and gossip bounces along between Roozi and Nick.
“Madonna’s just so much better when she’s depressed,” comments Roozi. “She’s like Tori Amos. You just want her kid to get run over so we’ll get another good album.”
*Nick disagrees with this; he believes it was a reaction to media, post –Erotica, Sex Book, when people and the media turned on the overtly sexual imagery.
2.55am: We all agree Ray Of Light was the best song off the album, Ray of Light, the remixes were also very cool. Madonna upbeat, dancefloor Madonna. FYI this was produced by William Orbit.
Peter: “I think its neorealism on speed”
I’m so glad my friends are here – I think that without them by now I would be curled in a little ball and hallucinating badly.
The feel is very trashy afternoon – it could well be 3pm on a rainy hungover Sunday. This is one of the nice things – the unusual set up of a seemingly normal hang out session.
3.06am: The hourly photography has assumed a key way to mark time – it’s very satisfying to have the photos taken dead on the hour.
Nick quizzes me about what I’ve gleaned from the clips (catching the fact I’m telling everyone about my plans to get hair extensions like Paris Hilton and not watching clips) and I stumble through something about Madonna’s power as a performer, beauty of the look etc. I’m not really a fan of the Madonna ballad stuff, but seeing clips like ‘Beautiful Stranger’ remind me Madonna is still doing cool stuff, great performance, good to collaborate with Mike Myers.
4.00am: Nick: “What are you doing tomorrow?”
Roozi: “I’m interviewing Kayne Taylor at 10am”
Nick: “What? You’re going rock climbing? What?”
Roozi: [laughs] “He’s the winner of Pop Stars”
Nick: “They’re all winners”
Pop stars goss: Luke Jacobs is apparently been porking all the chicks on Popstars to the point where he’s been warned off them.
4.14am: Nick: “I’m tired”
Georgia: “Have some more speed.
Nick: “OK. Should we have it straight or with sherbet?”
Georgia: “With sherbet.”
Nick: “How many lines, one or two”
Nick: “How about two small ones.”
Georgia: A look. “Same diff”.
Nick pours out some speed – always a little bit more than he thinks he can get away with – and picks up the sherbet. “There’s not much sherbet…”
In the next second a tablespoon of sherbet empties over the speed. “Oh”
Realising we could never snort that much fucking sherbet we divide it between two wineglasses.
Nick: “Chin chin”
Georgia: “Bottoms up”
Georgia: “Hmmm… rose?”
Nick: “Strawberry. Raspberry.”
4.39am: Roozi and Peter leave. Me and Nick decide to dance: Junkie XL ‘Little Less Conversation’, we jump around like crazy people, dancing in that I’ve-binged-on-clips-speed-and-pot kinda way. We try and copy the movements of the dancers onscreen resulting in a confused hilarious mish mash of styles. I collapse on the floor laughing, buzzing and suddenly energised.
4.52am: Back on the couch.
5.05am: What time does the sun come up? It’ll be sad to leave the comfort of night – its endless potential muddied gray by dawn.
Alanis Morissette is number one in Italy. “She’s so boring. Boring middle class hippy.”
Eamon is Number One in Germany – urgh, I hate this clip. It’s everything I don’t like about music and clips. Painfully bad song, same goes for the clip. Saturation is akin to brainwashing, essentially. High rotation – hmmm, sounds like a factory operation doesn’t it? Again, Orwell springs to mind…
Nick: “I like this song. He’s so crass. He says dirty words. Makes me wanna have dirty sex with him.”
Georgia: “You’d fuck Eamon?”
Nick: “I’d let him fuck me and then I’d fuck him.”
Nick made Irish Coffee – scalded milk with a dash of whisky, Tia Russo and coffee.
5.35am: We’re back, inevitably, to speed and Justin Timberlake.
Nick: “He’s such a phony. He’s southern fried trash – the Mickey Mouse Club – and he’s just a show business whore. He’s corporate crap. Like a naughties Jeremy Jordan.”
5.55am: We decide to go halves in an E. It seems appropriate – we were dancing to Beyonce (our new favourite game, copying the dancing from the clips, an excellent party game or ice breaker) and you know, we do have three more hours. Time for a final hurrah. We make vodka and oranges to celebrate.
The pill is bright pink with a happy face on it.
On Avril: “She’s a cock. A cockhead. A manufactured pop punk poppet.”
On Kylie: “Where do I begin? She’s the consummate pop star. Madonna has been about survival and making bold statements, Kylie has always just been an imitator. But then she reclaimed all the things she didn’t like about herself.”
6.24am: Christina Aguilera’s ‘Dirty’ is fucking amazing. That’s what I like – love – about pop music. If you want the kind of music that is insanely catchy, sexy as fuck and willing to chew through massive amounts of cash, make a clip like Dirty. In for a penny etc.
Prince does funk. Prince is another perennial favourite, alongside Blondie, Bowie, Lou Reed, Violent Femmes, Michael Jackson…
Favourite Prince song: Nick: Gett Off. Me: Little Red Corvette or Kiss.
7.30am. We take the rest of the E, another line of speed and another joint. Its good feeling high again – only 1 and a half hours to go.
Roozi couldn’t sleep so is coming back for the tailend.
7.43am: I think its fair to say we’re both feeling pretty fucked. But at the same time, I can’t really imagine stopping – an addictive cycle. Well, we’re running out of drugs – that decision will get made for us. So far: 22 hours, 45 min.
7.52am: Incredibly it’s light outside and I can hear Sarah getting ready for work. Nick is dancing to Kylie ‘In Your Eyes’. I really can’t imagine leaving the house until much later, post work crowd. After all, I’m having the day off – I will have worked for 24 hours straight goddamit!
8.00am: Nick’s favourite Video-Clip-a-Thon moment: a speedy rambling combination of many – “the whole thing”. Sarah leaves for work and takes the 8am photo.
8.06am: Roozi is back for the last hour. I really thought the last slog would be hard but it was totally fun. Sure, the future is uncertain, but as long as I don’t have to leave the house any time soon and pop some cheap 2mg Valium, it should fine.
8.27am: Nick snorts sugar. “I’m just a drug junkie once I get started. Doesn’t matter what it is.”
8.40am: Quincey calls in to see how the home stretch is going. I tell him good… the minutes are really falling away now – 20 minutes to go. In the world of video-clip-a-thon, that’s nothing.
I have new hates: Eamon, Evanescene, Hoobastank, stupid booty clips, Anastacia.
8.45am: So what have I learned from all this? Maybe this isn’t the best time to ask… I love doing crazy shit like this – this is the thing I’ve been most excited about doing since The Strokes porn. Well, a girl’s gotta have goals. Alecia is coming over for a quick post-mortem. We smoke our last joint.
8.54am: The boys want me to hug the TV for our last photo. I tell them I’m not leaving the couch.
8.57am: Fucking perfect!! The tale end of ‘I Want To Break Free’ – good to have some Queen.
9.00am: Ok, that’s it. Video-a-clip-a-thon is over. We scramble to switch to Will and Grace (yes, we’re still watching TV). See you next time.