…and here’s a list of 30 things you’ll actually do before you turn 30.

There was one of those lame ‘things you’ll do before you’re 30’ lists on the fridge at a Big TV Production Company I was freelancing for. You know: 1. Achieve a Childhood Dream, that sort of thing. I posted a response anonymously.

  1. Give up on a childhood dream
  2. Run a marathon – or if that’s too daunting, take a cab there instead
  3. Move out of home, and have a homoerotic experience in a sharehouse
  4. Invent your own drug cocktail
  5. Find the love of your life, then lose them when you both sober up
  6. Learn how to say “easy tiger!” in Dutch (it’s “zachtjesaan lekker stuk!”)
  7. Ladies, go to a gay bar, even if you’re straight. Guys, get a Brazillion
  8. Try group sex in the open air
  9. Read the collected works of Bret Easton Ellis over and over and over again
  10. See a sex therapist for free through Medicare
  11. Try Buddhism, Marxism or other extreme viewpoints
  12. Bluff your way into a job you’re totally unqualified for and get fired
  13. Have a one night stand with a totally fugly stranger you met at a party
  14. Join a political organisation but just keep deleting all the group emails
  15. March for a cause for the social cred it brings
  16. Skinny dip in the ocean at midnight under a full moon with reality TV hosts
  17. See the sun rise coming down off acid
  18. Get involved in a team sport, then spend all your time at the pub instead
  19. Go to second with someone whose been on TV
  20. Get caught shoplifting something really lame
  21. Borrow your nephews and nieces or friends’ kids for a weekend and explain to them what tea-bagging is
  22. Become passionate about homewares
  23. Make a fool of yourself at a yoga retreat
  24. Do ten days at a karaoke bar
  25. Have an open relationship until someone gets an STD
  26. Start sentences with “Now that I’m in my late-20s” or “I’m old now, so I can’t [insert reckless youthful activity here]”
  27. Blow a week’s wages for two at a restaurant, then do a runner
  28. Stop bouncing back from very bad hangovers
  29. Start taking moral cues from the characters in Sex and the City
  30. Resent everyone born in the ’90s

About Georgia

I'm a young adult novelist with a weakness for hot nerds and cheese platters, not necessarily in that order. I am currently working on my third novel. I'm pretty excited about having just turned 30 because it means I can justify spending a lot of time thinking about homewares.
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