Five Things To Do Before You Say ‘I Luv You’.
It’s itching to tumble out of your mouth… but before you say the biggest three little words there are, make sure you do these five key things.
1. Talk about the future. Is it love or are you just flirting? One way to find out is how long he sees this lasting. You don’t have to bring up marriage and babies when it comes to future-talk (freak-out alert!!). You just wanna make sure you’re not his ‘high school girlfriend’ before you go dropping the L-bomb. A simple chat about uni or plans for the first year after high school should suss what he’s thinking.
2. Meet his friends. They say you can tell a man by the company he keeps. His friends are his forcefield, and there will be a lot of his past, present and future reflected in the inner circle. Meeting the crew is a big step – the modern day equivalent of meeting his family. If you really can’t stand his mates, be warned: he may not take having to choose between you and them very well (would you?) Also, he should suggest hanging with his nearest and dearest – you shouldn’t have to badger him to meet the boys. If he’s hesitate about showing you off to the crew, that’s gotta start raising some eyebrows.
3. Take a few trips together. If the private jet to Spain is, ah, booked for the weekend, a day trip out of town to somewhere beautiful and quiet will suffice. Spending some serious one-on-one time together is a great way to really get to know someone, and make sure that what you have isn’t just a combination of hormones and high school boredom.
4. Have a fight. Firstly, we DON’T mean start a fight – who are you, Lilo and Sam? And okay, we don’t mean have a massive screaming-at-each-other-at-3am brawl – if you’re having those, maybe you guys shouldn’t be together in this first place! We’re just saying this: relationships aren’t all sunshine and ponies: sooner or later you’re going to have a disagreement about something, and that’s totally normal. What you need to have happen is great communication skills and mature attitude to see where each other is coming from before working towards a compromise. Can you get his point of view? Is he respecting where you’re coming from? Lover’s tiffs are nothing to worry about, as long as you both know how to deal.
5. Wait at least three months. Oh, okay. We admit it. Some Girlfriend staffers have been to known to bust this out after, um, three weeks. And who’s to say being romantic and crazy isn’t just a little bit magical? Just be warned: an early “I love you” will freak the commitment-phobic right outta town. Patience is a virtue, and even if you know you’re both on a one-way ticket to Loverville, you may wanna wait till he catches up.
Cool vs Fool
Cool: Being aware he may not say it back.
Fool: Saying it while being anything other than alert and stone cold sober.
Cool: Enjoying being in love – even if he isn’t there yet
Fool: Saying it the first time it pops into your head
Actions = Louder Than Words. Ways to show him you love him.
* Compliment him in front of others
* Give him space without judgment when he needs it
* Tell him specifically why he’s special
* Accept his weaknesses
* Be his biggest fan
Copyright Georgia Clark 2010