This is it: the final, absolute, non-negiotable list of rules that every self-respecting hot young thing must follow when trailblazing that tricky terrain known as a first date…
- Don’t make out Tend to sexual tension as you would a home-cooked pasta sauce – it must be allowed to simmer – slowly – to achieve a mouth-watering result . The hope of a killer make out session should be what you both leave wanting to happen next time – in other words, make him work for it! Focus should be on getting to know each other and having fun – and flirting your sicks off of course!
- Don’t talk about your ex Excessive explorations of the ex waves a big “I’m not over them!” flag in the other party’s direction. And if you’re pressuring him for info, it paints you as insecure and the jealous type. All you need to be sure of is they’re single and ready to mingle. Remember, two’s company, three’s a Big Day Out-sized crowd.
- Do leave your expectations behind If you’ve been crushing on your hottie for a gazillion years, by the time the first date rolls around you’ve probably imagined everything from the first hand-hold to the first kiss-by-moonlight. It’s fine to fantasize, but before you meet up be sure to make a conscious break with them. Imagine putting these fantasies in a box, and clearing your head of any expectations of what the night will hold – that way you can’t possibly be disappointed by what happens.
- Do be honest If they ask you what the last movie you saw was, don’t say Lost In Translation when in reality it was Not Another Teen Movie. The comfort you have with your quirks and eccentricities are what make you interesting.
- Don’t lay all your cards on the table When you score a date with someone you’re smitten with, you can unconsciously assume that, given they’re the next great love of your life, you can tell them everything. DON’T! Laying all your cards on the table on a first date – how much you like them, all of your weird insecurities, your hopes for a spring wedding – is way too intense and can really freak someone out. Even if you’re supersure things are heading in a togetherforever way, make like the Fonze and play it cool.
- Do be spontaneous So the movie you decided on turns out to be totally lame. Leave! Find something else to do! Or if you’re on your way from A to B and see a photo booth, jump in take some funny pictures. Spontaneity is attractive and exciting, and will ensure your date is as memorable as an Adam Brody torso pic.
- Don’t get drunk Is your ideal guy someone who writes himself off on the first date? Then it’s unlikely he’d be into you doing that. It’s unattractive, it destroys your convo skills plus it can really fast track things physically. You want your guy dreaming ‘bout what it might be like to kiss you night and day, not planning to get you into rehab before never calling again. Consider planning an afternoon date where drinking just wouldn’t fit in.
- Do be mysterious We’re not saying rock a cape and mask, but a little mystery goes a long way. Vague over any details of anything you’re not ready to divulge on (like your romantic past or your obsession with 80s boy bands) and save the blow-by-blow description of your childhood for when he asks for it.
- Do split the costs Even if he suggested the pricey resturant, or absolutely insists on paying, make sure you contribute to the cost of the date, even if it’s buying ice-creams or movie popcorn. Its important to feel like an equal with your hot date and not like you owe him something at the end of the night.
- Do your homework Find out what he likes, what’s in town and what’s cheap. You might not even end up following through with what’s on your mind, but having a few awesome suggestions of awesome things to see and do shows makes you come across as cooler than a fridgeful of Eskimos.
Reality Check! You will break these rules! Don’t be too hard on yourself – the lessons you learn from breaking The Rules is part of learning how to ace the dating game.
Random! Celebs dish the dirt…
“I picked a restaurant I thought was an intimate, five-star place but it turned out to be a themed restaurant. All the waiters were dressed as pirates and the customers were senior citizens. It was so embarrassing.” Jessica Alba on her worst first date ever.
“One guy took me to downtown L.A. to see the homeless people. I thought it was cool to experience it, but it was a little random for a first date.” Rachel ‘what’s wrong with dinner and a movie’ Bilson
“I figured that she already had a lot of dates in fancy restaurant and from what she had told me about herself, she loved simplicity, so a pizzeria looked good for me” Wentworth Miller kept it lo-fi for his first date with Sophia Bush.
“My idea of a perfect first date activity is shopping for furniture. I like to buy old furniture and alter it. I really like that kind of thing!” Samaire Armstrong keeps it real.
Copyright Georgia Clark 2010