Reality Bites

How to break up with your imaginary boyfriend.

First things first – we’re not suggesting you guys actually have imaginary boyfriends in the way little kids have imaginary friends. We’re talking about that totally unrequited infatuation of yours – you know the one…. Your fantasy crush. It could be on an ex, the boy next door, hey it could even be on a movie star or rock ‘n’ roll hottie. Whoever he is, if you’re spending more than ten minutes thinking about him every day and there’s really little to no chance of you guys getting together, we say enough’s enough! New year, new you – it’s time to break up with your imaginary boyfriend!

Checklist! You Have An Imaginary Boyfriend If:

  • You talk to your dog more than you talk to him
  • All your couple photos involve Photoshop
  • In your mind you’re a perfect match, but in real life he’s at best polite, at worst, totes disinterested
  • He already has a GF
  • He’s a vampire

Why You Have An Imaginary Boyfriend

1. You’re too nervous to meet a real guy: Some girls make flirting look easy, but for you, talking to your honey makes butterflies the size of monster trucks appear in your stomach! Convos in real life are never as easy-breezy as the ones in your head. All the icky awkwardness of your chronic shyness can be smoothed over by the power of your mind…

Reality check! Baby steps. You don’t need to turn into a champion flirter overnight, just start with something small, like eye contact and a smile. Studies show guys are drawn to girls who smile, above and beyond superficial things like hair colour and body shape. Are your Macleans showing?

2. Your imaginary boyfriend is totally perfect. For you, the cold hard reality of a relationship is actually disappointing compared to the sunny rom-com playing in your head. In real life guys crack stupid jokes, like football and fart. In your imagination, your BF (who happens to be a carbon copy of Jude Law) only has one interest: YOU. It’s all about declarations of true love, and lots and lots of gift giving. *Sigh*

Reality check! Hmmm, it sounds like you’re a little bit of a control freak! Fantasizing is fun, but when it’s at the expense of going on the exhilarating if unpredictable rollercoaster of love, maybe it’s time to reassess. The beauty of a real boy, with real flaws and a real heart, is worth putting the mind movie on pause for.

3. You secretly think one day he’ll come to his senses (even if there’s zero chemistry between you). Face it: you guys are perfect together. Okay, maybe he doesn’t know that right now, or maybe sometimes he acts like he knows it and sometimes he doesn’t, but seriously: together. Forever. You guys.

Reality check! If your imaginary boyfriend is your ex, or that on-again, off-again crush whose stringing you along, it’s time to bring in the troops. Ask your girls for their honest opinion: we’re betting pounds to peanuts the answer is GET OVER HIM!

Warning Signs It’s Gone Too Far…

  • You’re pretty sure the fact he occasionally ‘likes’ your status update is proof of his undying love for you.
  • You prioritize having time to fantasize about the perfect picnic over actually going on picnics with your crew.
  • You’ve spent a lot of time figuring out the best ways to keep a relationship with a vampire secret from your ‘rents. A lot of time.

Copyright Georgia Clark 2010


 

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About Georgia

I'm a young adult novelist with a weakness for hot nerds and cheese platters, not necessarily in that order. I am currently working on my third novel. I'm pretty excited about having just turned 30 because it means I can justify spending a lot of time thinking about homewares.
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