Copyright Georgia Clark 2010
Are You Independent Enough To Have A Boyfriend?
“She got her own thing/ And that’s why I love her/ Miss Independent” – Ne-yo
Okay, hands up: who thinks that having a boyfriend will make them more likeable, popular or attractive? What about just plain happier? Actually who thinks they can only be happy if they have a boyfriend?
If you’re secretly nodding, it’s reality check time! You know those sickly sweet couples that are so in l-u-v it’s gag-inducing? They make it work because they’re both happy with their own lives. And a lot of that happiness comes from being truly and completely independent.
Being independent means being able to think, act and make decisions for yourself, without feeling dependent or influenced by other people. A commitment to being independent is a commitment to having a healthy and unique sense of self – an identity that is complete on it own. It’ll lead to wanting a boyfriend (totally normal) not needing one.
As life coach Lisa Phillips points out, if you’re happy with who you are:
1) “You’ll feel secure, and won’t become a clingy girlfriend who agrees with everything her boyfriend says.”
2) “You’ll have healthy, fun relationships.”
3) “You won’t make your relationship the most important thing in your life.”
4) “You won’t feel the world has come to an end if the relationship breaks up.”
5) “You’re less likely to come across as desperate or needy!”
Five Things Smart Girls Do BEFORE Having A Boyfriend
1. Solve a tricky problem on your own.
When faced with a brainteaser, our kneejerk response can be to delegate. But next time the illogical rears its ugly head, don’t ask for help. You’re Supergirl remember? You can resolve issues, fix things and make decisions on your own.
2. Pursue a rad new hobby
There’s a whole world of cool stuff out there just itchin’ for you to get involved with! Getting into new hobbies helps form your own unique identity and skill set. You can meet new people and enjoy a self-esteem boost when you get good at what you’re doing!
3. Cash up with a part-time job
Working hard for the money is a Patz way to feel independent – the feeling of having a fat wad of cash of your very own is suh-weet! Plus you can cultivate a whole new gang of buds and start to think about what you do (or don’t) wanna do for work in the future.
4. Learn to drive
Nothing says ‘independent woman’ like your own set of wheels and the license to make ’em spin. Learning to drive (or ride a bike) frees you up from always scabbing lifts and lets you decide where you would like to go and when.
5. Own your fave subject
Kicking ass at school is setting yourself up for a future where you can do anything you like, without relying on anyone else! Invest in what you’re passionate about by studying hard. The sense of achievement is better than a post workout high!
“Being single is something that I have never looked at as being a curse. It’s that time for you to figure out what you like and how you like to spend time by yourself. That’s a gift.” Taylor Swift
“I’m enjoying being single and I’m enjoying getting to know about myself without anybody else’s opinions” Jessica Simpson.
“It’s been nice not having a boyfriend. I could be in a relationship if I wanted to be, but I haven’t finished doing what I’m doing.” Cameron Diaz