If your typical type is totally toxic, it’s time for a detox.
When it comes to dating, most of us usually have a type. It could be physical (tall, dark and handsome), behavourial (super-social guys) or emotional (sensitive shy loners). Sometimes our types are positive forces for us to be around, and sometimes they’re toxic!
Toxic Type: Bad Boy. Ah, the original and the best. Every generation worships the bad boy and it’s not hard to see why. He’s rebellious. Rules? Made to be broken, and he’ll do it with confidence (sexy). He’s unpredictable – rarely online and you never know if he’ll text back (so now you REALLY want him to). He’s Pattison-hot. And your ‘rents hate him. Stuff. Of. Dreams.
The Toxic Reality: We all want what we can’t have. The bad boy has given you no reason to think he’s Mr Long Term, so you want him even more – but is that really healthy? All those bad boy trappings are probably a cover for the fact he’s majorly emotionally unavailable. Oh and be warned, bad boys are usually womanizers.
Detox Alternate: Instead of spending time lusting over a guy who acts like he doesn’t care if you’re even in his presence or not, try turning your attention to a Good Guy. He may not be saving up for a motorbike, but he’s sweet, reliable and will probably fork for flowers. Ding ding ding!
Toxic Type: Wanna-be-likes. If you wanna be an actor, you chase good actors. If you wanna run your own business, you crush on those kicking butt in Business Studies. If you have nothing in common with your types except for the fact they excel where you want to, you’re not dating with your heart, you’re dating with your ambition.
The Toxic Reality: You’re attracted to these guys because they represent your ideal future, not because they’re actually right for you. They’re a great addition to your network, but don’t mistake admiration for attraction.
Detox Alternative: Try meeting guys who share your values, as opposed to your career plan.
Toxic Type: Easy Targets. He’s smitten with you and basically worships the ground you walk on. Nothing you could ever say or do would be wrong because, well, you’re perfect! When you fight – oh, wait a second, you guys never fight. But he’s not your soulmate. He’s just an Easy Target.
The Toxic Reality: The reality is you don’t really respect this type of guy – dating him is like shooting fish in a barrel. You probably like Easy Targets for the massive ego boost, or you find someone on your level too intimidating. Either way, dating an Easy Target is like treading water when you could be swimming laps.
Detox Alternate: Detox from this tragic type by dating Your Equal. This means someone who’s just as smart, and ambitious, and complicated as you are. Someone who challenges you and isn’t afraid to speak their mind! It won’t be compliment overload, it’ll be something better: a real adventure, (not the Disney remake).
Toxic Type: Hot bloods. For you, love is all about passion. The screaming fights, the dramatic exit, the flood of tears and then, the grand gesture and passionate make-up session. You almost feel addicted to the push and the pull of hot blooded boys – because that’s what real love is about, right?
The Toxic Reality: Ultimately, these kinds of relationships are exhausting and unsustainable. Passion is great, but constant fighting ain’t.
Detox Alternative: Someone who can keep their temper, while keeping your interest.
Copyright Georgia Clark 2010