He’s out there somewhere, and we wanna help you find him! In order to find out what your future honey is like, we’re turning the spotlight directly back on YOU…
When dreaming about your own Mr Big, you may think you need to have the same taste in movies, hobbies, art, sport (etc) in order to really click. Not true! “A lot of difference can be sustained, provided it is not in the ‘core values’ register,” explains psychotherapist Pam S. “Contrasting tastes in food and entertainment might be less significant than different beliefs, particularly if these relate to areas such as social justice. This hits at a deeper level than what movies we like to see.” So if he’s a mad b-ball fan and the only ball you’re interested in involves gowns and princes, don’t worry… but read on!
What The Frack Are Core Values?
Okies, core values are The Big Picture. We all have different core values. They represent our deepest motivations, our passions, how we see the world, how we treat others and how we want to be treated.
Check out the list of words below. Think carefully, and circle the top five which represent what you’re all about.
These are your core values. They might be values taught to you by your ’rents, or they might be ways in which you’ve decided NOT to be like them! Either way, they’re the deep essence of who you are and will guide the decisions you make about your future. Your future boyfriend is likely to share many of your core values.
For example, if you circled equality, community and teamwork, this suggests you have a strong sense of social justice and want to work with others to achieve your goals. While you and your boy might both love Chinese food and The Simpsons, if he’s circled autonomy, money and status, it sounds like you have very different agendas. You’re not as likely to be matched in the long run, no matter how hard Homer cracks you up! Most happy long term couples share, or at least supportive and compassionate of, their partner’s core values.
Case Study # 1 Zac and Vanessa have planned to rock a swish A-list event, but at the last minute Vanessa gets a call from a close bud who needs a girly shoulder to cry on. Vanessa cancels the event, and Zac gets way less publicity than he usually would have. Is Zac mad? Nope: they have shared values of compassion, trust and commitment. If Zac’s values were fame, status or popularity, it might be a different story!
Playing The Same Game.
Having the same values does not mean yoe have to look alike too – can someone please tell these famous peeps?
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz
The other argument this black eyeline-lovin’ twosome would have is who gets to use the straightener first!
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
Woah: we all know Tom’s a bit creepy, but Katie’s short hair and pantsuit combo has us using the word ‘brain-washed’…
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
Looks like ex-hubbie Tom taught Nic a few things about the art of dressing exactly like your beloved. Freaky!
Copyright Georgia Clark 2010