A cute date is a must have for the modern girl as she trailblazes the trickery of teendom. But it takes different strokes to rule the world – when it comes to dudes, one size does not fit all.
The minute rich-nerd Seth Cohen appeared on our small screens with his adorably bumbling ‘Cohenisms’, geek has ruled as chic. Ladies, meet your Shy Guy.
What’s their deal? The Shy Guy has a tough time in a society that defines masculinity as occurring through organised sports and not crying. Your Shy Guy is more like you than most menfolk – he’s gonna take time to get to know and is probably overly self-critical. Shy Guys are so because of fear of rejection, which means it’s going to take him a while to open up. Your Shy Guy lover may start as a romantic friendship, wherein it’s obvious to you, your crew and the freakin’ bus driver something is going on, but he needs to trust you and be assured you like him back before he slips his hand into yours. Be patient, understanding and really listen when he talks, and you’ll land your Cohen before you can say ‘Ryan was in another fight’.
Approx time between first crush and first pash: Four months.
Best birthday present: Hard-boiled detective novels, Bright Eyes CDs.
When you get sick of the tortured love affair thing you got going on with Mr Deep Thinker in the Shy Guy camp, try letting off a little steam with someone far more typical of their gender, the Fly Guy aka The Playa.
What’s their deal? Fly Guys fall into two camps. The first are insecure types putting on a macho bravado who treat girls badly as a weird way of punishing themselves (steer clear). The second are good ol’ fashioned ladies men – they just lurve the ladies. These devilishly charming lads genuinely love female company, plus they have sky-high libidos and are usually pretty great in that department. Fly Guys are lots of fun, as long as you realise they are not boyfriend material. If you can handle that what he gets up to when he’s not around you is his call, just as he’ll give you that the same freedom, the adventure factor is assured.
Approx time between first crush and first pash: Four days.
Best birthday present: Family Guy boxset, a flirtatious grin.
‘But Why?’ Guys
You: I’m having a girl’s night in. Him: Can’t I see you later? You: I have to hang up now. Him: But why? Ah, the possessive and needy But Why guy. This personality type may seem like an average hot-blooded male to the casual observer, but as you’re discovering, this boytoy is needier than Jenny from Gossip Girl.
What’s their deal? When dating someone new, it’s normal to feel the need for reassurance – after all, love isn’t just ponies and rainbows, it can also be confronting and a bit scary. But there’s a clear difference between a secure arm round your waist, and straight-up jealously and neediness. If you’ve given your guy no reason to doubt you, stand up for yourself immediately. Casually but clearly open up a dialogue about your feelings he’s being jealous and demanding. Love is not ownership, and if that’s not ringing true with your current beau, it’s time to reconsider if you’re putting your happiness first.
Approx time between first crush and first pash: Four weeks.
Best birthday present: Binoculars and a tracking device (ha ha).
Copyright Georgia Clark 2008