When good plans go bad: how to deal when he says no…
Sometimes, life can just suck. And we’re not talking someone-ate-the-last-Tim-Tam kind of suck, we’re talking the I-just-put-myself-on-the-the-line-and-my-crush-said-no kind of suck. We’re talking love suck, the suckiest suck of them all.
Rejection makes math’s exams look like superfun
That’s how bad it is. And you know what? It’s okay to feel like the earth has just stopped turning. Don’t repress your immediate sadness – let it out. Punch a pillow, write a really bad poem and cry till your throat hurts. Indulge. Let loose. Then, when you’ve finished that family-sized block of Cadbury, it’s time to start picking up the pieces.
Why are you so devo?
Understanding your emotions is an important way of being in control of them. Try to unpick why you’re feeling lower than an ant right now. Is it because you’re worried you’re unlovable? Who else loves you? We bet you can name a decent handful of awesome people in your life who reckon you pretty much rock. Or do you feel bad because you think you humiliated yourself? Paris Hilton once said ‘I don’t get embarrassed – that’s for other people to feel’. While the petulant party princess isn’t exactly our ideal role model, we do kinda heart this sentiment. It says, ‘I live my life the way I want. Sometimes I trip up. Oh well – no biggie!’. Hold your head high!
Failure is a part of dating success
In fact, failure is a part of success, period. Successful people don’t get a series of lucky breaks – they work hard for their lot in life, and part of that is overcoming setbacks: trial and error, all the time. Putting yourself out there doesn’t always go as planned. But life isn’t so much about what happens, it’s how you react to what happens. Are you gonna be the sad lonely girl who decides never to ask anyone out ever again? Or are you gonna be the cool, strong chick who dusts herself off and resolves to keep workin’ for love? You can’t win ’em all, but you can have a damn good attitude about it!
Get back on that horse, sister.
We don’t mean straight away: one ‘no’ per major event is probably all the modern gal can handle, right? But we do mean don’t let this one loose cannon lad rain on your dating parade. You gotta face the fear and ride that bucking bronco into another sunset! After all, practice makes perfect. You’ve got a gorgeous long stretch of dating ahead of you, so you may as well sharpen your date-asking ability now.
When it comes to He Who Said Nup…
Do: Be totally polite and civil to him in school – so classy it hurts
Don’t: Ask him again, in case he’s changed his mind.
Do: Embrace any other new crush you had as a Plan B.
Don’t: Start a nasty rumour about him.
Do: Say hi to him at the formal, but only if you feel like it’s genuine.
Don’t: Rant about it or him on Facebook
Why Going Solo Rocks
Nix the awkward slow dancing
Flirt up a storm with whomever you want
You never know how the night will end
No conversations about football or farting
It’s just so Carrie Bradshaw
Words We Like!
– Jennifer Aniston (she would know, huh?)
Copyright Georgia Clark 2010