The Hot and Cold Guy

We unmask the boy who’s changing allegiances faster than LiLo.

One minute he’s super keen and the next it’s like you don’t exist! Is this guy worth spending credit on? We suss the reasons why your new guy is blowing superhot then freezing cold!

1. It was all about the chase: This dopey dude thinks he’s still in the jungle – *sigh*. Yup, for some guys, the chase ‘n’ capture is more exciting than an actual relationship. This can be super confusing, especially if he had to work hard to prove himself worthy to you, and just when you’ve come to see him as kinda cute, he’s lost interest! For this guy dating is a game, not something real he’s interested in.

Verdict: Date him.

2. His personal life is going haywire: If he’s not your BF (yet), and you guys aren’t in the caring and sharing 24/7 stage, then a sharp decline in interest might not have anything to do with you at all! Listen carefully to the way he’s describing school or what’s the haps at home – if his parents are going through a messy divorce, you don’t want to demand time and attention he just can’t give you right now.

Verdict: Date him.

3. He’s crazy into you…and it’s freaking him out: More common in rom coms than in real life, occasionally your Mr. Wonderful is OD-ing on just how wonderful you are – and it’s the freaking him the heck out! He’s a tongue-tied, knock-kneed, Michael Cera-ish mess around you and the only solution is distance. Once he starts feeling accepted by the hotness of you, the ‘cold’ phase should blow over.

Verdict: Date him (duh!)

4. He’s only after one thing (and we’re not talking about holding hands): Teenage guys are definitely Clooneys-in-training, meaning they are still learning how to rock the Perfect Gentleman persona. And some will never learn – early warning signs include those who are just after sex. If he’s blowing hot for make-out sessions and cold for hands-free hangout sessions, it’s time to reassess. Hold out for someone who’s nuts about you!

Verdict: Dump him.

5. He’s hooked on the attention you’re dishing out: He doesn’t want to date you, but he does love being desired by you. To him, you’re someone to flirt with but not commit to. Attention is addictive, and this guy is so needy or arrogant, he doesn’t care that he’s causing you confusion and heartbreak to get a cheap fix.

Verdict: Dump him.

6. He’s still working out if he digs you: If your hottie is blowing hot and cold in the first few weeks of whatever-this-is, don’t fret. He’s just sorting out how he feels before blowing the love trumpet. Guys tend to take longer than girls to understand themselves emotionally, and he’s just protecting himself by taking things slow.

Verdict: Date him.

The Cold, Hard Truth.

Why would you blow hot and cold with a guy? Is it because you actually really dig him and care about him? Unlikely! Dudes and dudettes both act pretty consistently with people they like. In most cases, unfortunately, the hot and cold guy just isn’t that into you.

How to Deal…

When you’re the star of his show one day and cut from the cast the next:

–       Don’t contact him way for a week.

–       Resist seeing it as ‘drama’ – and therefore exciting – see it as a sign he’s not interested.

–       Stay positive, and keep busy with your own life.

Copyright Georgia Clark 2010


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About Georgia

I'm a young adult novelist with a weakness for hot nerds and cheese platters, not necessarily in that order. I am currently working on my third novel. I'm pretty excited about having just turned 30 because it means I can justify spending a lot of time thinking about homewares.
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